Once again, I am caught up in the activities of life, the busyness of the season and the changing rhythms of our home. I have not purposefully meant to stay away from this online journal space of mine, but somehow, long (or even short) hours spent at the computer are just not fitting into my world at the moment.
There has been something that I have wanted to write down, to share, to remember and it’s this:
I love my life. I love the mess and disorder of it. I love the current pace and stride of it. I love the tears and the laughter, the screaming and the chaos of two little boys running through the house in nothing but their socks as I’m frantically trying to make dinner. I love the start of a new day and the end of it, because somewhere in the middle, something unexpected happened. I love my dirty floors and piles of laundry as much as I love fresh linens and a scrubbed toilet. I love the taped up drawings of airplanes and rocket ships, race cars and pumpkins that pepper every room of the house.
I love the songs and music that float through these walls, causing us to bust out a groove or sit and just listen. I love the beat-up old mini-van that I drive day in and day out because it takes me where we need to go and that is good enough. I love that glass of wine at the end of my day…or at some time of the day when the end is sort of near. I love the people in my life and I love Facebook, even with all its flaws, for keeping me connected to them.
I love that I have a space to create, that I am able to pursue a passion that fills up my soul. I love my body with all of its strengths, wrinkles and flaws because hey, it’s the only one I’ve got and I’m alive. I love that I am alive and that life is good. (I will not follow that sentence with an “even though” or a “despite” or a nod to anything other that the gratitude of that acknowledgement.) Because nothing is perfect, everyone has bad days and everything is constantly changing. I will keep embracing that. I will keep noticing the good stuff even when the “bad” stuff may be right in front of me. I have been shown this past year how fleeting life can be, how quickly time passes and how impermanent it all is. Do what you love, what makes you happy, surround yourself with the good stuff as much as you can and let go of what can’t be changed.
I am not always an optimistic person, I can easily let my mind go off and start to worry myself about a million little things that are out of my control. It is work to stay positive and grateful and happy and I know I may not always feel this way, but writing this down is my reminder to myself to keep on working at it and harness the way I feel in this moment.
I am blessed and I know it.